She Remembers
by Wine-into-Water
Summary: TheresaRyan Theresa remembers past moments of her life involving Ryan.


**Title** – She Remembers  
**Rating** – PG 13  
**Pairing** – Ryan/Theresa – The O.C  
**Summary** – Theresa remembers past moments with Ryan  
**Disclaimer** – All things OC do not belong to me. Josh and company has that pleasure.  
**Authors Note** – Story is not beta'd and I know that if you do the math the TV program doesn't match so lets just say they are watching a rerun.  
**Feedback** – Is always wanted. It is not an excuse but this is my first venture into the O.C fandom so any constructive criticism is appreciated…flaming I can live with out.

**She Remembers**

She remembers the first time she met him. Both where forced to tag along with their older brothers on orders from their mothers. They ended up spending the cool autumn afternoon sitting on the side of the baseball field. Both deemed to be to small and slow to be on either team. She's mad at Arturo for making her look weak and girly in front of the new boy. Even at this age she knows in Chino first impressions are everything and she wants to impress him, to show him she's not just some girl with pigtails and bows in her hair. Turns out being benched for the game was the probably the best thing her brother could have did for her because from that afternoon on it is her and Ryan. They are inseparable.

He beats up Bobby Gillis in the third grade for looking up her skirt and she returns the favor in fourth grade when she pours grape juice down the front of Stacey Cotters new white dress for saying that Ryan was a bastard because his father was in jail. All this around the same time Ryan allows her to crawl into his bed after she's had a nightmare, always waking her up in time to sneak back home. To return the favor she would be there to hold ice on Ryan's face when he comes over after spending the afternoon getting acquainted with Dawn's latest Mr. Right.

She remembers sitting on the stained ratted blue carpet of her living room with Ryan by her side in silence as they watch the credits roll by and as the Warner Brothers logo fades from her screen Ryan speaks.

"What an idiot. If my best friend was that hot and wanted me, I'd know about it."

She pushes him over in a playful manner trying to cover up the fact that his words hurt.

"Hey, are you saying I'm not as hot as Katie Holmes?"

Stopping his movements and resting on his elbows he looks her over. Starting at her bare toes and slowly moving up her legs and stomach, pausing at her newly developed breasts, finally stopping at her eyes. He sits up, kinking his head to the side in that cute way he has, never taking his intense blue eyes off of hers.

"I'm saying…you're not into me."

A year later when she's been fourteen for exactly six weeks and four days she sneaks out of her house at midnight, meeting Ryan under the streetlight. They end up in the backseat of a car Trey and Arturo 'borrowed' from some guy. She's sore and suddenly shy, he holds her reassuring and comforting her. They wake up the next morning when the sun begins to peak over the paint chipped garage.

She remembers seeing him kiss Andrea Miller in the hallway at school. Her chest tightens and her body turns cold. The agreement they made playing back in her head, they weren't official or exclusive in fact they weren't even dating. They couldn't afford to ruin their friendship over something so stupid as puppy lust/love. She listens as he talks about other girls. She tells him stories of her own, convincing him with a smile as she lies about other guys. Hoping he never finds out the truth. He's her only one.

She remembers the night of her sixteenth birthday, her sweet sixteen barbeque in full swing. Giving up on all chance that he'll show she feels a tap on her shoulder. He's standing behind her in a pair of new jeans, clean wife beater and what he considers his best button down shirt, holding a white rose out to her. She runs her fingers over his darkened eye and swollen cheek. She knows why he's late.

They spend the rest of the night laughing and dancing. She kisses his face, chasing the pain and memories away. Officially they still are not exclusive or even dating, nothing more then just friends but his stories stop and she doesn't lie anymore. Instead they spend almost every night together. Some nights are of the naked variety but others just her and Ryan curled together dreaming of a way out of Chino together.

She remembers before he leaves for his night out with Trey she unties the necklace from her neck. The very same one Ryan won for her out of a claw game machine. She slips off the sliver heart and walks up behind him tying it around his neck. It's much smaller on him, more like a choker. She can't help think of how sexy he looks with it on. He gives her a look and she shrugs. "To keep you safe." He pulls her close and kisses her forehead, "I'll be back."

He doesn't come back, not until Thanksgiving and when he does the necklace is off and Marissa is by his side. Hiding her hurt behind a smile and small talk she waits until he leaves and then calls up Eddie, accepting the date he's been asking for since Ryan disappeared from Chino. Ryan has moved on and so can she.

She remembers, bruises and promises, nights of peroxide, bandages and crying herself to sleep. She decides that she'll take a waitresses job in Newport in hopes that it will bring her back to Ryan. It does and before long old habits surface and they spend the night sharing the same bed. He leaves early telling her it's not like Chino, that here he has people that will notice him gone. He lies. She always notices when he's gone.

She remembers counting down the seconds as the minutes slip by while waiting for one line or two. She lies and tells him there is a chance it could be Eddie's. He believes her without question and her heart sinks. He still doesn't know that for her even after all this time he's still her only one.

She asks and he follows and now they are back in Chino. Strong arms wrap around her body, hands resting on her stomach and his face nuzzles her neck. She feels happy. She has never told him this is her dream. This is how they get out of Chino. It happens a few years before schedule but it's him and her and that is all she's ever needed, all she's ever wanted.

Summer fades and autumn approaches. Long days at work, calls in the middle of the night and visits from the people he now considers family cause a distant look to take up residence in his eyes.

Her decision isn't an easy one but she loves him enough to let him go. They need him. He misses them. He's found his way out of Chino and she can't stand in the way of that. The lie of loss struggles on her lips but through tears she gets it out and sets him free. Her heartbreaks and she cries.

It's better this way.

She remembers a tall gangly man still with unruly dark curly hair in town promoting the movie of his comic book. His warm welcoming dimpled smile fades as a sandy hair, blue eyed little boy runs up to her calling her mama. It's obvious he knows the truth. She begs and pleads, threatens and cries, but he wont lie. Not to him, not for her.

She expects an angry phone call, banging on her door, threats and hurtful words as he stares at her with disgust. Instead he stands at her door, blue eyes dull and red, a trail of dried up tears evident on his face. It was never her intention to hurt him like this. She tells him so and even though she should never have expected anything less from the man that has known her for most of her life he understands. Within moments he's sitting on her living room floor playing with their son.

She remembers the sun setting and he is down on bended knee holding out his hand asking if she would be his if he could be her man. Tears slip from her cheek, words are missing from her lips, and she can only nod as a smile spreads over her face. She's always been his. His face beams as his arms wrap around her and for a moment she is weightless and floating on air as he twirls her around, holding her tight.

The Cohen's welcome her into their family promising not to spoil their grandchild while she and Ryan are in Paris on their honeymoon. She can't help but laugh as Ryan rolls his eyes at the obvious lie. They share a knowing look between each other both knowing by the time they get back grandpa, grandma and uncle Seth will have bought him everything he could ever want.

She never let her dreams go this grand, never expected after her betrayal this was even a possibility but here she stands, with Ryan, her Ryan holding her close, bodies touching, heartbeats in perfect sync. Journey booming over the speakers they start to sway in time to the music for their first dance as Mr. And Mrs. Atwood. Miles away from the backseat of a 'borrowed' car and years since the sidelines of a baseball field they are finally exclusive. Finally happy.

His hand laces with hers and she looks at the man standing beside her. His face has been creased over time and his blonde hair long ago turned grey but to her he has never looked more handsome. He's perfect. He's always been perfect. Will always be perfect. There isn't anything else that she is more certain of. She rests her head against his shoulder and looks back to the wall of framed pictures each one detailing a time in their lives shared together and she remembers.


End file.
